


is it okay to miss him?

by zombz_comz



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Germany/North Italy Fluff (Hetalia), Hetalia Countries Using Human Names, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Doubt, gerita - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:53:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26248990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zombz_comz/pseuds/zombz_comz
Summary: When Feliciano stands at Ludwig's doorway late at night, the german expects him to just need company for the night.  Turns out he needed a little more than that.
Relationships: Germany/North Italy (Hetalia)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	is it okay to miss him?

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry, it's a little angsty but I can never make myself write something too bad, and if I do, I'm not mean enough to not write a nice ending.

The clocks ticked with a rhythmic pulse, the echo of the second hand quietly echoing through the German's house as it passed between the sixy marks. It was well past midnight now, but the noise was excruciating to the only one awake. 

Feliciano rested alone in the bed, though he was far from sleep. It was around two in the morning at the least, and he couldn't help but tap his fingers against his chest in time with the damn clock. It was nothing more than a background noise that provoked his thoughts further, which he would rather not do. In response, he sat up, quietly swinging his legs over the side of the bed to get up. This in itself was a challenge, as he got up too quickly, causing his vision to give out and go blurry for a moment.

The italian reached out to grab the nearest thing to hold balance, which happened to be a small wooden chest on the bedside table. It wasn't much support, being knocked over easily with the attempted grab. The chest fell on to the floor with a semi-loud noise, causing Feliciano to freeze and listen out to the room next to him, hoping he didn't wake Ludwig.

He had been so nice to allow Feliciano to once again stay at his place while the countries got together for yet another conference, and he really didn't want to repay him by waking him up in the middle of the night. He sighed when he only heard Ludwig's snores resume and quickly picked up the chest to place it back where it was before. With that, he quietly crept out of the room, hoping that getting a glass of water would ease his thoughts and let him sleep. He knew it probably wouldn't, but hydration was important either way. He held himself as he walked through the dark house. He never liked the dark.

_"Grandpa Rome! Grandpa Rome!" The young Italian cried out, panicking when his grandfather was nowhere in sight. He let out a shrill screech when hands grabbed him from behind, but quickly settled when he heard a hearty chuckle rise out of the person who startled him._

_"Feli, it's only me. Don't tell me you're afraid of the dark, are you?" Rome turned the young country around to face him, holding him in his arms. When Feliciano looked away, seemingly ashamed in himself, the larger country gave him a small smile. "_

_It's okay if you are. You've just got to learn that it's okay."_

Feliciano shivered as he walked into the kitchen. It seemed colder than the rest of the house for some odd reason. He quietly opened the cabinet and grabbed a cup, almost like second nature. If he was being honest, he knew Ludwig's house like the back of his hand. It was most likely from the amount of times he'd been over, but he also had an affinity for remembering the least important things most of the time. He scratched at his head as he brought the cup to the refrigerator, putting the cup under the water. dispenser and pushing it against the end to get the water out.

_Feliciano brought two cups back to his grandfather, setting them beside the brushes that had been brought out earlier._

_"Are you ready to paint?"_

" _Sì!" The younger nation picked up his canvas, tapping his dry brush against the side as he decided what to draw. His grandfather had already started, causing him to groan out of annoyance with himself. "Grandpa Rome, I don't know what to draw!"_

_The older nation set his canvas down to inspect the blank canvas, humming in thought. He looked around before pointing out something small, wrapping an arm around his grandchild. "Do you see that?"_

_Feliciano squinted his eyes, spotting a small flower in front of them. "The... Flower?"_

_His grandfather nodded in response. "Precisely." This caused the younger nation to huff, sliding the larger man's arm off of his shoulders._

_"But a flower seems... Boring." He frowned, setting his canvas down._

_"No no, Feli. It's important."_

_"How?"_

_"Well, it's small, but it holds a lot of potential." He picked his brush back up, using the end as a pointer. "There's more than meets the eye. Look, the petals have a purple tint at the end, and the pollen in the middle has so many tiny details that it could be fun to paint. And you may see it as 'boring', but this flower holds more potential than you know."_

_He picked his materials up again before smiling to himself._

_"Reminds me of a certain someone."_

The sound of dripping water brought him out of his thoughts, causing him to almost drop his cup. It had overflowed and created a puddle on the floor, giving Feliciano yet another task to add on to this restless night. He grabbed the closest dish towel, handing from the handle of the oven to quickly wipe up the water. He made it back to his room, exhaling as he sat on the edge of the bed.

Feliciano sipped at his water as he thought about the flashbacks he had been having of him and his grandfather. He didn't know why he was having these come back to him. He was usually good about not thinking about it too hard. He felt stupid constantly missing his grandfather. Almost none of the other countries mourned their old companions or relatives as much as he did, or at least to him they didn't. One of the first reasons he even attempted to bond with Ludwig in the beginning was because he mentioned Grandpa Rome. Of course, he was only asking if he was a relative of the long gone country, but he was eager to talk about him either way. 

Lovino had told him that it was stupid, but he hadn't been raised with their grandfather so he didn't really count as an opinion. But so many others never said anything, they were all strong. And the last thing Feliciano wanted was another reason to be called weak. Sure he was stupid at the times and couldn't sense the mood, but he always tried his best. 

He sat on the bed, taking a gulp of the water. It wasn't too long until half of the glass was empty, and he sat it down on the bedside table before crawling under the covers to finally get some rest. It proved useless though, as he only focused on the static-y black that his closed eyes formed. The italian slowly rolled on to his side, watching the remaining water sway slowly from the air of the overhead fan. It was enough to send him over the edge, getting up and dragging himself out of the door. He needed someone with him for the night, and he'd slept in the same bed with Ludwig so many times. Surely he wouldn't mind if Feliciano crept into the bed for the remainder of the night. 

Feli quietly shuffled out of his room and to the doorway of Ludwig's room. It was slightly open, and he took a breath of relief, knowing he wouldn't have to find a way to silently open the knob. With the door open, he stood there, arms once again wrapped around his lanky body out of habit. It was when he saw the sleeping german that he had second thoughts. What if he wasn't silent enough? Would Ludwig yell at him for waking him up so late into the night? Would he scold him in the morning? This went through his head like a static while Ludwig was slightly tossing in his sleep. One thing about the german was that not much could wake him, aside from about three things. Of those three things was being stared at, which Feliciano was doing unknowingly. 

Ludwig sat up, almost startled by the small frame in the doorway. He soon realized it was Feliciano, standing there as if he were a child coming to tell their parent that they threw up in the middle of the night. The only difference was that he looked like a kicked puppy, face sad while dissociating into who knows where.

"Hey." he called out, almost flinching when he saw the jump Feliciano had done in response. They stared at each other for a moment, before Feliciano spoke.

"Can I stay with you tonight? I know it's super late but I can't sleep..." 

The german nodded, slightly shifting over as Feliciano slowly walked over. The lack of tone in his voice insinuated that he wasn't doing as well as usual, which was concerning to Ludwig. Sure, seeing Feli quiet this late wasn't super surprising, but he sounded somewhat upset. When Feliciano got to the bed, he just sat at the edge, which was even more off putting to Ludwig. He usually immediately settled in, but was sitting at the edge, crouching over with his arms wrapped around his waist.

As a small effort, the blonde man sat up and moved closer, lightly setting a hand on to the other's shoulder. "Are you alright?"

With the small bit of interaction, Feliciano broke. His composure just washed away, and he began to shake and cry. His hands immediately covered his face, not wanting Ludwig to see how ugly he was crying. Fuck being composed, fuck being weak. He sure didn't know how other countries did it, but he couldn't. He choked on his sob when he felt strong arms around his waist, and a head resting on his shoulder. Instead of forcing it, he just let himself cry loudly. No one else was in the house, it was only them. And if he had to choose who watched his breakdown, it would definitely be Ludwig. 

It took a good while before he got quiet again, his cries reduced to sniffling. "Feeling better?" Ludwig was quiet, his usual gruff tone reduced to a low baritone, laced with tiredness from being woken up in the first place.

Feliciano nodded, shivering when the other let go of him. He finally got underneath the comforter blanket, and it wasn't long before Ludwig had an arm around him, holding him closely in almost a protective manner. They stayed quiet for a moment before Feliciano spoke up.

"Is it bad that I miss him?" He closed his eyes. "I feel like it's normal to miss him, but Lovino told me I shouldn't miss Grandpa Rome and I don't know what to do. I don't want to be weak Ludwig..."

Ludwig sighed before running a hand though the smaller country's hair. "It's normal, Feli. Even countries that seem stronger are also affected by losses." He smiled a little when he heard a relieved sigh from the italian, letting him get closer.

"Grazie..." Feliciano yawned out the last syllable, feeling his eyes close. A good cry was needed sometimes he assumed, and this was one of those nights. Maybe Lovino was wrong. He probably was, like usual.

"Gute Nacht, Feli."

He only got a few hours of sleep, but when he woke up, Feliciano noticed that he was still being held close. His and the blonde man's legs were tangled together. It was a quite intimate moment, but he would question that later. They had another meeting later in the day, so it wasn't like they had to be ready super soon. Despite the lack of sleep, he actually felt quite energetic. 

And as soon as he found a way out of Ludwig's arms, he knew he was going to make some cloud eggs for him.


End file.
